i feel lucky, with the worst luck
by FebruarySong
Summary: Rogue One fic. Jyn's first undercover mission does not go entirely to plan, but for all the subterfuge some things finally become clear. Featuring cliché spy tropes, a seduction (or two), and more! Written for incognitajones as part of the RebelCaptain May the 4th Gift Exchange on tumblr.


_**Note:** This is a gift fic for incognitajones as part of the RebelCaptain May the 4th Gift Exchange on tumblr! She gave me two prompts to choose from – the first was one or both characters undercover in any scenario, and the second was to take inspiration from a poem or song lyric. She also said she would love to receive a visual gift, so I tried to do all three by including a graphic to go along with the fic. _ :) _The title is taken from lyrics from "Big Ideas" by The Boxcar Rebellion, which is one of the songs in Jyn's spotify playlist. I listened to it a lot while writing this fic and the opening lyrics in particular seemed very Jyn:_

 _For the first time in my life I have seen the relevance of love_  
 _When you don't have much, when it's what you need_  
 _And I have big ideas for you and me_  
 _I feel lucky, with the worst luck_  
 _That I met you when I felt messed up_

 _Please don't look under the hood on this one. The plot is held together with chicken wire and duct tape._

* * *

The first time Jyn volunteers – and is approved – to go undercover, Cassian resists. It's a couple months post-Scarif and she's already taken to life in the Rebellion pretty well, but he still argues that she doesn't have sufficient experience in this kind of covert op. Without even fully knowing the specifics of the mission, he offers to go in himself.

Jyn feels like the rug has been ripped out from under her, and she responds to the sudden sense of betrayal the only way she knows how: with a bloom of anger. "Aren't you forgetting all my false identities that I maintained for years on my own without any backup?" She squares her jaw at him, a challenge if ever there was one. "Imagine what I can do with a support team."

He opens his mouth to reply, apology and something else warring in his dark eyes, but the General cuts him off.

"As much as it pains me, I have to agree with Sergeant Erso," Draven says with a rueful twist on his lips. "Besides, you're not really the mark's type, Captain."

Kaytoo helpfully fills Cassian's momentary pause of confusion by clarifying, "He means it's a _seduction_ mission, and the mark is a heterosexual human male."

"Yes, _thank you_ , Kay," Cassian grinds out.

Jyn brushes past him, bumping into his shoulder hard enough to be clear that it was intentional. They've been orbiting each other for months, both of them too proud or too petrified or too tongue-tied to admit anything real to the other. But he's always had her back, always fought for her both on the battlefield and in the briefing room – until this.

"Don't fret, Captain," she hears Draven say as she puts some distance between them. "You'll be accompanying the Sergeant on this one, as her handler."

Somehow she's relieved and irritated at the same time.

* * *

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Bodhi says later, when he's helping her load up supplies on Cassian's U-Wing.

Jyn gingerly hangs a garment bag off the blaster rifle rack, more skittish about the protective fabric casing than the weapons themselves. "The mission sounds easy enough. I just–" She cuts herself off, reluctant to explain her hurt that Cassian doesn't think she can do this, and how determined she is to prove him wrong.

"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it," Bodhi adds quietly, and she reaches out to touch a hand to his upper arm. Of course he understands without her saying the words.

"I wish you were coming with us," she sighs, not quite looking at him, since even roundabout expressions of affection still don't come naturally for her. She glances over in time to see the corners of Bodhi's mouth quirk up, a soft acceptance of her clumsy offering.

"Don't worry, Kaytoo will make a great chaperone," he teases.

Jyn rolls her eyes. Chirrut was the one to first start making sly remarks about her and Cassian, with Baze's rumbling chuckle enough encouragement for Bodhi to follow shortly thereafter. It's only a matter of time before Kay joins in, and then she really will shoot the droid.

"Cassian and I are only friends," she says, for the millionth time.

"Right," Bodhi replies, for the millionth time.

She's spared any further retort by Cassian himself striding up the loading ramp, Kaytoo looming at his heels.

"Ready?" he asks, stuffing his pack in the locker behind the cockpit.

"Good luck," Bodhi says to all three of them before dropping his voice with a smile just for Jyn. "I'll see you when you get back. Maybe just… talk to him?"

The look she shoots him is answer enough, but he still shrugs expressively as he heads out. She can practically hear his words: _are you going to stew, or are you going to do something about it?_ Glancing over at the rigid set of Cassian's jaw as he guides the ship out of the hangar, she chooses to stew.

It's a very quiet trip.

* * *

Jyn takes a slow sip of her drink, eyes sweeping the room from her perch at the bar. The huge room is crowded with extravagantly dressed party-goers both humanoid and otherwise, and Jyn is wearing a slinky dress of her own to blend in.

Her hair is loose and curled to hide the tiny two-way comlink in her left ear that links her to Cassian, who is holed up several floors above her in a hotel room that he booked under one of his burner identities. She technically has her own room upstairs too, since Kaytoo helpfully pointed out that she might need it for the _seduction_ (he won't stop emphasizing it) and having a man and a droid already there would kill the mood.

"The mark is leaving his room. Less than three minutes until he arrives." Cassian's voice in her ear is tinny due to the comm frequency, but it's also business-like, all clipped consonants and an even tone.

She just hums her reply as she takes a slow sip of her drink. Her seat gives her a good view of the front entry to keep an eye out for her mark – Rune Kolbrun is his name – whenever he comes in.

And there he is, strolling in through the tall entryway like he owns the place. He's the son of a high level factory owner, and all Jyn has to do is charm the pants off him – literally. His belt buckle hides a datachip with entry codes, and the thick bangle on Jyn's wrist hides the device she'll use to copy it. The codes allow access to a TIE fighter construction facility, and wouldn't it be shame if the assembly line was compromised? But that's a mission for another day and probably another team, even if Jyn would prefer it to this lavish gala.

"Requesting visual confirmation of the mark's arrival." This time it's Kaytoo over the comm, and Jyn lets the faintest exhale of irritation pass between her teeth, wishing the droid was back on the ship.

"Confirmed," she murmurs into her drink.

Rune Kolbrun is easy pickings, really; a playboy used to getting his way with women and partying hard in the process. Waking up alone and disoriented after taking someone up to his room won't set off any alarm bells. And, as it turns out, he has an infamous taste for petite, dark-haired women – which makes Jyn hate him that much more for making even her eventual success seem like it was only because of her appearance.

Jyn catches his gaze from across the room, holds it for a beat, then looks away with a smile just as his eyes start to light up with interest.

This shouldn't take long. Another smile or two to invite him over, and then it's just a matter of getting a few drinks into him.

"Jyn." Cassian sounds tense this time. "Something is wrong with the comms. We can't–"

With a _snap snap buzz_ the comm signal fizzles out in her ear. Jyn goes rigidly alert, wrestling with her natural fight-or-flight instinct. If someone cut out the comms it's unlikely they know specifically who is wearing one, so they'll be looking for a reaction. She swirls her drink in her glass and forces herself to affect boredom.

Besides, she reasons as her heart rate levels out again, her comlink is probably just collateral damage. Big parties filled with b-list billionaires like this are usually rank with dirty deals and side-contracts; odds are that some spicelord or another is taking extra precautions. So she smiles at Rune Kolbrun again, calculating the best way to reconnect with Cassian after she copies the datachip now that they're radio silent.

Kolbrun smiles back at her, and even at the distance between them she can tell that his eyes drop from her face to her cleavage. It really should only take another glance or two to get him to come over.

She's still in a good position to see the front entrance and some part of her mind has been scanning attendees as they come and go. Someone enters, and she almost doesn't recognise him for a second. But then recognition and warmth bloom in her chest despite herself, because it's Cassian, because _of course_ it's him, because he always comes for her – even if he really shouldn't, because she's _got this and why can't he believe that?_

When she had left him earlier, he was wearing his usual neutral fatigues. Now he is sharply dressed in beautifully tailored formal wear, the dark lines of his suit suggesting Corellia or Bespin, although the style is nondescript enough to be from anywhere. She hadn't even known that he'd brought clothes like this. His collar is unfastened as if he couldn't be bothered, but his hair is neatly combed back, and it's all Jyn can do not to stare.

He heads toward the bar with the unhurried ease of a man prepared to enjoy his evening, and he orders a drink a couple of seats down from her. Jyn checks on Kolbrun's position again, but he's talking to a pair of Rhodians and doesn't return the eye contact.

Meanwhile, Cassian has feigned to notice her for the first time and his eyes linger on her for a long moment. The bar is fairly crowded, but there is a seat open next to her which she had planned to fill with Kolbrun. Cassian clearly has other intentions, however, since he picks up his tumbler and makes his way over.

She's acutely aware of him without really looking. Cassian always moves with steady confidence, but this… _this_ is something different. The loose swagger, the insolent smirk, the way his gaze drags down every inch of her body – Jyn snaps her mouth shut, firmly reminding herself that this is just one of his undercover personas that he can shrug on and off like a jacket.

"Can I buy you a drink?" is all he says, as if that's all it would take.

"I already have one," she replies blandly without turning toward him. He's going to have to _work_ for it.

"Let me buy you a better one, then," he says, sidling closer, close enough for her to feel the brush of his trousers against the bare skin of her leg where the dress is slashed almost up to her hip.

She shifts to face him, one eyebrow raised. "That's a pretty tall order for someone I've only just met."

"Trust me." He leans forward to tuck a strand of hair behind her left ear where the dead comm is, his thumb lingering along her jaw for a moment longer than necessary. "I can tell what you'll like."

This has all been pretext to get close enough to each other that they can whisper without being overheard, and Jyn is still angry with him, but _damn_ if her stomach doesn't flip.

"Is that so?" she asks, arching a brow.

He tilts his head closer still and she can hear in his lowered voice that this is finally Cassian instead of whatever cover he was using. "Kay and I can't trace who scrambled the comms, so I sent him back to the ship. I'm extracting you." He could be talking about the weather for how casual he is.

"No," Jyn replies simply.

He's too good to openly react, but she knows him well enough to see his breath hitch for a split second. He calmly lays a hand on her thigh, tracing lazy circles with his third finger around the pale birthmark there, and Jyn finally realizes that his extraction is meant to look like a seduction, too.

"What?" he says, somehow managing to convey incredulous disappointment with a pleasant face.

"Look, it's a simple mission," she murmurs as she aggressively ignores the sensation of his calloused fingertips on her skin. "And it's not unheard of for security to jam short range signals. I can still do it."

"It's too dangerous," he says with the slightest shake of his head.

If she can read his microexpressions then she knows he can read hers, so she doesn't bother with a reply beyond the tightening in her jaw and a flash in her eyes. He pulls away a measure, face carefully blank, and for a moment she absurdly thinks that if they were just regular people than any observer would think she had turned down his advances.

But they're not regular people, and he's analyzing the ramifications of her unspoken ultimatum. However much they've blurred the lines between them, he still technically outranks her – but they both know she's terrible at following orders.

"Fine," he finally sighs, because he's gotten pretty bad at following orders, too. Still, he's clearly unhappy about it. "I'm not leaving, though."

"Somehow I don't think Rune Kolbrun will go for a threesome." Jyn cocks a brow at him.

He smiles, half Cassian and half cover, and leans in, the perfect picture of a last attempt at persuasion by a rejected man. "I'm not really the sharing type."

Jyn's head is starting to spin with keeping track of who is who, so she reverts back to the mission. "Just keep your distance," she replies through a charming, clenched smile. "You've already compromised my cover enough."

Cassian moves even closer, as if he wants to whisper something suggestive for her ears only. "Tell him that you were using me to make him jealous." His breath fans hot against her neck, and – and – why was she angry with him in the first place? "Look over at him now, like you're making certain that he's watching."

"I _have_ actually seduced someone before," Jyn hisses back as she casts a coy look through lowered lashes over his shoulder in Kolbrun's direction. He's definitely watching now, so she infuses her expression with a _this idiot_ look, rolling her eyes subtly at Cassian.

"Is it working?" he asks, still near enough for his words to tickle across her skin.

"Sorry about this," she whispers right before rearing backwards and slapping him, _hard_ , across the cheek. It's enough to knock him off balance, and he stumbles to his feet. She can't tell how much of his reaction is genuine surprise, but he shoots her a disgusted glare as he covers the blooming red handprint on his cheek.

"For the last time," she snaps, "leave me _alone_."

"Crazy bitch," he mutters, and this is so _not them_ that Jyn almost has an out-of-body experience. Still, she can't help but think that there's no one else this would work with.

She watches him go as the other people at the bar turn back to their drinks now that the spectacle is over. Jyn looks back at Kolbrun and finds him still watching her, so she glances invitingly at the now-vacant seat beside her. He immediately excuses himself from his conversation and presses through the crowd.

 _Let's get this over with_ , Jyn thinks, feeling double the pressure to succeed now that she's insisted they continue without comms. She brushes her fingertips over the kyber crystal against her chest and takes the barest moment to steady herself before Kolbrun leans against the bar next to her.

"That was quite a show you put on a moment ago," he says with a suggestive once-over that makes her skin crawl.

"Well," she demurs, glancing down at her hands so that she can look up at him through her lashes again. "I didn't want him hanging around… when I hoped someone else would come over."

"Is that so?" he drawls as he runs the back of one hand lightly down her arm.

She drops her voice to a purr. "Maybe I was being too subtle."

"Let me buy you a drink for your troubles," he says, gesturing to the bartender.

"I thought you'd never ask," Jyn smiles.

He really is an easy target; she just has to alternately giggle and gasp at his stories about the expensive things he's done while keeping a steady stream of drinks in his hand. Jyn mostly just twirls the ice in her own glass with her cocktail straw; her first drink was virgin, and she's not about to compromise this op by getting tipsy. Kolbrun is too busy bragging about his adventures on the second moon of Tandoshi to notice.

All the while she feels Cassian watching them, although she never sees him. She doesn't doubt that he's both keeping visual contact on her and also guarding her back. It makes it a little easier to give her attention to the immediate task at hand.

She's already decided that she won't be the one to suggest going up to Kolbrun's room – it's better to let him think this was all his idea. The fewer reasons she gives him to suspect anything is amiss, the less likely he'll be to raise an alarm about the codes later. He won't even notice they've been copied if all goes to plan.

Her patience is rewarded at last when he begins describing a particularly pricey (and illegal) brand of spicewine, then stops himself with a mischievous smile.

"Actually," he says with another sidelong look at her cleavage that he thinks she doesn't notice, "I have a flask of it upstairs."

"Really?" she says breathlessly, leaning in and putting a hand on his knee. "I've never tried spicewine."

"Then you should," he grins as he stands up. "Come on."

She smiles up at him for a moment, not wanting to seem too eager. "Alright," she finally says. "What can a few sips hurt? Let's go."

The bar isn't far from the enclave of turbolifts and while they're waiting for one to free up, Jyn uses the reflective control panel to put on a fresh coat of lipstick. She catches Kolbrun staring, and she smiles. Little does he know that this colour is laced with a fairly powerful sedative that will end his evening a little earlier than he intends. She can't even wear it for long or it'll knock _her_ out.

The doors to a lift open with a chime and he gestures her inside before entering after her. He indicates the correct floor, and the doors barely swish shut behind them when he kisses her, his breath smelling of Corellian whiskey and gin. It's sloppy and much wetter than necessary, and _stars' end_ he's really pressing against her – until he slowly goes slack and his weight fully slumps against her. Jyn rolls her eyes, huffing a little with effort as she clumsily guides his unconscious body to the turbolift floor. He must be drunker than she thought.

She fishes Kolbrun's door access card from his pocket and straightens when she feels the lift slowing down. If there's anybody walking on the level that it opens to, she's not really sure how to talk her way out of having a comatose socialite at her feet.

Her tension spikes as the lift comes to a stop, but the door sweeps open to frame a very worried Cassian Andor, whose face clears of concern the moment he sees her.

"What are you doing here?" Jyn hisses, since he is very much _not_ supposed to be joining her at the point in the operation.

"Helping," he replies as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

It's much more practical for two people to move an unconscious body than one, so instead of arguing her point Jyn hooks her forearms under Kolbrun's armpits and leaves his legs for Cassian. Luckily his room is just a few meters from the turbolift, and she fumbles with his keycard for a moment before the door swishes open. The suite inside is opulent and large, but they bypass most of the luxury to deposit Kolbrun on the enormous bed.

"Here," Cassian says, handing her a kerchief.

Jyn was just going to wipe the lipstick off on the back of her hand, but maybe the toxins can seep through her skin. She snatches the kerchief and scrubs the narcotic rogue off her lips before realizing that her provocative dress has no pockets, and they certainly can't leave physical evidence behind. She hands it back to Cassian with a curt, "Here."

He tucks it back into his breast pocket without looking and resumes priming a hypo-syringe. _This_ was part of the plan, that he would meet her in the room once Kolbrun was unconscious to bring the remainder of the supplies. He was never supposed to be at the party, though, and much less right outside the lift. Jyn tightly clamps down on her frustration and tries to match Cassian's businesslike air as she strips off Kolbrun's belt.

The hidden datachip in the buckle has a tricky mechanism to unlock, but it pops free after a moment's patience. Jyn tugs off her bangle to fit the chip to the reader inside as Cassian presses the syringe to Kolbrun's neck. There's a soft hiss as it dispenses a stronger sedative into his bloodsteam, one that will keep him unconscious for hours, plenty of time to get out of that solar system in case he decides to raise an alarm upon waking.

They work in systematic silence; he littering used spice paraphernalia around the room to reinforce Kolbrun's belief that he partied hard as usual, she roughing up his clothes to the same effect. Once the datafile is transferred, she puts his belt on again but doesn't buckle it.

Jyn snaps the bangle back onto her wrist and turns to face Cassian just as he finishes with the last empty glitterryll packet. Maybe the comms going down are a hidden blessing; now she can talk to Cassian without Kaytoo butting in, even if the setting is a little unorthodox.

"What was that back there?" she asks, keeping her voice steady. _Volatile_ is a word that's applied to her often and she's not about to undermine herself by snapping, even if she wants to.

"What are you talking about?" he throws back. His apparent nonchalance puts her teeth on edge.

"You could have compromised the mission back at the turbolift. What if Kolbrun hadn't been unconscious already and he'd seen you?" Cassian doesn't seem to have a reply for a moment, so she plunges on. "You openly questioned my assignment to this mission in front of the council in the first place. I thought we were long past this."

"Past what?" he says, guarded.

She struggles to find the words. "Past doubting what I'm capable of."

"You think that I don't believe in you?" Cassian asks, and he looks so wounded, like this is the worst thing she could think of him. Maybe to him, it _is_.

"I – I didn't know what to think," she says, thrown off balance by the hurt in his eyes but unwilling to back down yet.

" _Jyn_ ," he says her name with an earnest desperation for her to understand. "I know you. I believe you can do whatever you put your mind to. But taking out stormtroopers is one thing. Being a spy – getting close, seeing their eyes, _smelling_ them, and then pulling the trigger? That never leaves you. I just–" He looks down, jaw flexing. "I didn't want that for you."

"But this isn't a red mission," Jyn whispers.

He twists his lips in a way that is half wry, half ashamed. "Plenty of them don't start with a kill order."

The grief on his face makes her heart twist, and she remembers what he said once – _I've been in this fight since I was six years old._ How many of his missions had turned red in all his days with the Rebellion? And worse: without direct orders, so that he carried that weight alone?

She closes the distance between them and slides her arms around his middle, pressing her face against his chest as she crosses her hands behind his back to pull him close. She can hear the steady cadence of his heartbeat against her cheek, and after a moment's hesitation he returns the embrace, his forearms warm and heavy along her shoulder blades, his fingers cold on her skin.

"Thank you," she says into his shirt. "It's been a long time since someone watched out for me." _Since someone only wanted the best for me_.

She can't be sure, but she thinks he murmurs something into her hair. She withdraws a measure without unlocking her hands behind him so that she can look up at his face. His eyes are dark and filled with something she's seen before, although she's never known what to call it.

"Jyn," he says again, this time a whisper. He carefully frames her face with his palms, and tilts his head down to press his lips to hers.

Of all the ways Jyn has imagined kissing him, she never considered this – soft, and sweet, and slow, like they have all the time in the world. It's a question, so she answers him by dragging him closer so that their bodies are flush against each other. And then it's not soft at all, and she thinks maybe her heart is going to burst as he tangles his hands into her hair and she backs him against the wall.

 _Click click buzz._ They both wince apart as their comlinks simultaneously crackle to life and a familiar voice fills their ears.

– _restore comm capabilities. Repeat, this is K-2SO attempting to restore comm capabilities. Cassian, can you hear me?_

"Yes, Kay, you're coming through," Cassian replies, but the droid just keeps repeating the message in an increasingly irritated tone. The signal hazes out and back in once, then goes completely dead again.

"Of course he would interrupt," Jyn mutters.

Cassian smiles for the first time on this mission, for the first time in a long time. "Come on," he says, eyes crinkling as he extends his hand. "Before Kaytoo decides to rescue us."

Their best disguise as they exit is still as casual party-goers, but Jyn knows the gesture isn't for the benefit of their cover. She slides her fingers between his, the simple intimacy both unfamiliar and long overdue.

"Let's finish this later," she says. Both the conversation, and everything else. He's going to have to learn to let her do her job without hovering, no matter how difficult it is for both of them. And she's already decided that she's going to kiss him senseless the next time they're alone.

He runs a thumb over her knuckles, maybe as reluctant to quit this moment as she is. "I wish I hadn't kissed you for the first time with an unconscious man in the room."

Jyn huffs out a laugh. His sense of humour is so deeply buried that sometimes it's hard to recognize, but the glimmer in his eyes tells her that he's at least half-joking.

"I wouldn't change a thing," she answers the half that isn't, and just to prove her point she goes up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. He yields to her readily, making a soft, low noise in his throat that makes her skin thrill with electricity. She should have kissed him a _long_ time ago.

Their comms crackle in and out again, not even long enough to catch a clear word. Cassian lets out a soft sigh as he rests his forehead against hers.

"Kaytoo certainly has impeccable timing," Jyn says wryly, then blanches. "You don't think–?"

Cassian's brows furrow at the implication that their comms might have been transmitting after all. "No. _No_ ," he says, but he tugs her toward the door. "All the same, we should go."

The hallway outside it still empty and they only have to wait a moment for a turbolift.

"Sorry I slapped you earlier," Jyn says as it begins to descend.

"It's fine," he replies. "You had to make it clear that I wasn't competition. Just don't tell Kay, alright?"

"I thought he would be impressed," Jyn grins.

Cassian gives her a look. "He'll probably try to court martial you."

She doesn't have time to reply before the turbolift doors open up to a wall of sound; the party is in full swing now that the dancing has started. Cassian doesn't lose his relaxed demeanor, but she senses his shift into a higher alert as they move through the room toward the door. It reminds her that their moment is over and it's time to return to business, which she doesn't mind. There will be other moments. She's going to make him make that noise again if it kills her.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, they've casually made their way out of the party and back to the hangar where the ship is. Kaytoo is already in the co-pilot's chair when Cassian keys in the entry code and the door grinds open.

"It took you long enough," the droid snipes, since he would never admit to being worried.

"You know how these things go, Kay," Cassian replies as he settles into the pilot seat next to him and starts the initial engine sequence.

Jyn buckles into the jumpseat behind Kaytoo. She'll change back into her regular clothes once they're in hyperspace, but for now they're all ready to leave the system. The ship hums to life under Cassian's guidance, lifting off as Kaytoo transmits the exit codes to ground control.

Once they've cleared atmo, the droid swivels his head to observe his partner. "Was the _seduction_ successful?"

Jyn is at just the right angle to see Cassian try and fail to hide a smile. "Yes, Kay. It was."

* * *

 _Thank you for reading! Much love to raisingmybanner and sonsoftatooine over on tumblr for their invaluable help._ :)


End file.
